One of the hardest parts about becoming a mother (for me) has been the management of time. These days the majority of my time is spent getting to know my daughter, her cries, her smiles and cooing sounds, her body language, everything about her. We have reached a point in the last couple of weeks where I feel that I’ve finally gotten a handle on her and how to take care of her. Though each day still brings new things to learn. That learning will continue for the rest of my life, as a mum and human being, and I will always welcome it and see it as a gift.
It’s funny, I finally understand what I’ve heard mothers say for years. It really is easy to loose yourself in all this, to forget what YOU want or rather put aside what you want, what you love to do. And it’s been only two months.
I finally finished knitting a pair of socks and I can’t tell you how happy it made me. Almost as happy as seeing Kira smile at me. Some may ask how can I compare my baby’s smile to a finished pair of socks, you really can’t but…I hope someone understands what I’m trying to say.
Back to the issue of time, everything aside from Kira has become secondary but trying to arrange those secondary things into “order of importance” is the challenge. What do I do first? How do I triage those things. My biggest issue, what do I do with the “20 minutes” a day I can carve out for myself? Do I return phone calls, send thank you notes (for baby gifts), clean the apartment, cook a meal, take a shower, KNIT, read a book…? And am I being selfish for even wanting “time for myself”?
Oh and there’s the other issue…I’m still someones wife. (I”m also someones daughter, sister, friend, cousin, etc). I know there is some balance here somewhere….
One of the best lessons I’ve learned in the last 8 weeks, aside giving the baby a bath and not losing my grip, putting on the diaper so the poop doesn’t leak out around the legs and always bring a change of clothes for myself as well as the babe, is guilt is a waste of time. Easier said than done but so essential.
The learning and search for time continues…
Why does it not surprise me that you are filled with more motherly wisdom in two months than many have after a lifetime? You are so right, right, RIGHT!
I think of you so often! But just seeing that amazing photo of you – and the baby – but especially of you! is enough to tide me over. Whenever you’re ready – really, no presure at all! – we’ll hang out, have some bacon, I’ll snuggle the babe and you’ll knit.
xoxox
Completely stumbled upon you on Ravelry and decided to check out your blog. Wonderful entry and I hope you have sticked to carving out time for yourself guilt free!
Firstly… what a lovely picture of you two! Your little one is getting bigger with every post.
I think it speaks volumes that you are aware of and want to make sure that things balance in your life especially with a new baby. Like you said it is so easy to get 1000% immesersed in mommyhood! I know you are not soliciting requests for advice so I hope you don’t mind me sharing a nugget of what I am learning with my two… especially when they were small. One day at a time. If you have 20 minutes, take 10 for yourself, 5 for your hubby and 5 for chores (in that order). Keeping yourself and your hubby happy makes all the difference!
Have an awesome day!
What an amazing picture of you, brought tears to my eyes. Someone who knows they will never have children.